I’ve got an emotion hangover this morning. Last night was one of those nights where feelings and thoughts just gurgle out of you in all of their cathartic glory. My good friend Kaylin was the receiver and grace-giver in this moment, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the time and space to work through the tough stuff with such an avid listener.
After all of my ramblings about vulnerability, and grace, and pain, and heartbreak I was reminded of a prayer of mine that had been answered back in 2016. 2016 was my hardest year. At one point, I remember literally wishing it would just start over. Real darkness followed by shut door after shut door led me to a place of desperation that I can now look back and say “for which I’m thankful”.
I had begun attending a weekly gathering called “LoveWar” that was full of misfits and nothing short of the Holy Spirit. One night I spent the entire time crying, praying, and asking for an answer to questions that permeated my every thought. “Why have I been given a purpose, that with every effort, I’m blocked to fulfill? Why have I been called to do something that only leads to closed doors? Why call me to something, if I can’t do it?” Towards the end of my time there, my prayers shifted “God, I’m asking you, with expectation, for an answer.”
What happened next has become one of my “solid ground” moments. Those undeniable moments that define who you are, and who God is to you. A real moment that is a constant reminder of what you can’t deny. For me, it came in the form of a toothless man. He walked over to me from the other side of the room and said “I don’t know you, and I don’t know what you are going through, but God me to tell you this…go read Habakkuk 2:3.”
It says this:
For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end–it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.Habakkuk 2:3
How sweet it was to not feel alone. To have a truth to hold to when I felt stuck and frustrated…a sack of unmet potential. I still have those feelings often, but I’m taken back to that night I asked in expectation of an answer.
If it seems slow, wait for it; perhaps your purpose is still being fulfilled.